PeterMBall

Conspicuous Acts of Cultural Consumption

Furnace Room Lullabye

Since it came up in comments on in the livejournal feed, I’m going to make quick mention of this. I can understand the desire to make fun of country music, because much of it isn’t my thing and there are far too many examples of bad country music out there (especially in Australian, where the genre deserves to be razed to the ground merely for the existence of Slim Dusty). But it’s worth remembering that for every ten or eleven bad examples there is at least one good, often lurking in the background, that wouldn’t exist if we put up with the genre as a whole. I mean, country music gave us the genre of rockabilly (which was good) which in turn gave us The Living End (which was not). It gave us Johnny Cash covering Nine Inch Nails tunes and giving them a tenderness they never would have had in their original incarnation. I will argue tooth and nail

PeterMBall 25/07/2010

Big Thoughts

Apropo of Nothing

My friend Jason Fischer has expressed his consternation regarding author bios that mention cats in the past, so I feel obligated to mention this in the interests of scientific research: People love them some cats. I mean, seriously, the spike in visitors once I started blogging about the cat-sitting scares me a little (and that was *before* Angela linked to them). I find myself thinking of the motivational poster that went up on John Scalzi’s site a few days after he taped bacon to his cat. People love cat-related stories, Mister Fischer. They like knowing the cats exist and that you have them. Give it up, mate. The Cats win. ________________________________________ Current Writing Metrics Consecutive Days Writing (500+ words): 3 New Short Stories Sent Into the Wild: 9/30 Rejections in 2010: 12/100 Black Candy Word Count (Finish Date: 31st August)

PeterMBall 24/07/2010

Journal

Two Scenes of Feline Idiocy

Part the first The Cat: Feed Me! Peter: There’s food in your bowl. The Cat: FEED ME! Peter: There’s food in your bowl. I just put it there. The Cat: FEED MEEEEEEE! Peter: For fucks sake. Peter picks up the cat, puts it next to the bowl. The Cat: FEEEEED M– The Cat notices the presence of food. The Cat: Oh, right. Peter: You’re an idiot, you know that? The Cat, speaking with its mouth full: FEED ME! Peter: … Peter: Ten days to go. Part the Two Peter hears a comotion outside and goes to look. Finds The Cat engaged in deadly war with a dragonfly. The Cat: Is deadly beast! I save you! Peter: Whatever floats your boat, cat, just don’t bring it in and eat it on my feet. The Cat: Die! Die! Die! The Cat whacks the dragonfly with its paw over and over. The dragonfly waits this out and flies towards the fence. The Cat:

PeterMBall 23/07/2010

Works in Progress

The Writing To-Do list for 2010

Yesterday I sat down with the Spokesbear, a bunch of e-mail, my copy of Jeff VanderMeer’s Booklife, and a notepad to construct my to-do list for the rest of the year. It’s a habit I fell into a few years back (well, sans the Booklife part, but I suspect I’ll be rereading it often in July’s to come); those who’ve been following the blog for a while might remember the 80-Point-Plant for Awesomeness that resulted from last year’s state-of-the-union style gutcheck. Usually I’m pretty quiet about the results, but after reviewing my issues with last years list I’m going to go public with the writing portion of the process this year. It’s somewhat long. Sorry about that. If you want to skip it, I promise there will be more cat-sitting stories tomorrow. Some thoughts on the list before we kick off: – There’s a large amount of background work that goes into the decision of what to do with the

PeterMBall 22/07/2010

Journal

Travel and Taxes

Right now my parents are on their way to Turkey. Or they’ve already arrived in Turkey. Being unfamiliar with the vagaries of international travel and timezones, I largely just process such things in terms of “in the country” and “out of the country” and yesterday the parental unites transferred from one of these states to the other. I, on the other hand, am having one of those days when I’m dissatisfied with everything. I suspect it may have something to do with starting my taxes yesterday. There’s nothing quite so sobering as looking at your yearly income and thinking “well, that explains why I’m so angry these days.”

PeterMBall 21/07/2010

Gaming

Farewell Gen Con Oz 2010

I talked to the inimitable Ben Francisco over the weekend and was immediately reminded of the fact that this doesn’t happen often enough. There is something dreadfully wretched about having people I enjoy talking too spread across the globe, accessible only via chat programs that require one of us to be awake at an ungodly hour. Not that it would change if he were local, because I am inherently lazy and am horrible at catching up with people, but there it is. Fortunately the gist of the conversation was largely worldcon is coming, yay, which means there will be a whole bunch of people I enjoy talking too in the same place at the same time. Including Ben. Which will be awesome. About ten minutes after this conversation I read the press release informing the world that Gen Con Australia is cancelled in 2010. Needless to say, this cast a pallor over the rest of the weekend. I tried to write

PeterMBall 19/07/2010

Conspicuous Acts of Cultural Consumption

I Write Like

Bugger who I write like*, when presented with a tool of complex literary analysis such as this I can think of only one sensible thing to do with it. And now I give the you the results of my most important and detailed analysis: When you plug in the lyrics to Sir Mix-a-Lot’s Baby Got Back, you get: I write like J. D. Salinger I Write Likeby Mémoires, Mac journal software. Analyze your writing! And this amuses me no end. Poor Holden Caulfield – if only he’d learned to dial 1-900-mix-a-lot, his life could have been very different**. So can we all go back to the infinately more interesting 30 Days of Television meme now? * I tried Horn, got “You write like Jane Austen”, then figured we were done. ** Of course, on further reflection, it makes perfect sense. No-one understands poor Holden and who understands those rap guys anyway?

PeterMBall 16/07/2010

Works in Progress

Conversations with Works In Progress

Act One: Yesterday’s Short Story Idea Peter sits at Fritz the Laptop, planning his writing time for the day. WIP: Oooo, I haz a title. Peter: Go away, I’m meant to be working on my novel right now. WIP: “The Unicorns of Suffragette Three” Peter: … Peter: No. I will not be lured. Aroynt. WIP: (sing-song and tempting) I have an op-en-ing par-a-graaaaaph. Peter: You do not. WIP: Yes, actually, I do. Look it’s this. (Whispers in ear) Peter: … WIP: See? Peter: I hate you. WIP: You really don’t. Peter: … Peter: Fine. Lets talk. WIP: Good. Peter: So… WIP: I wish to be long. Peter: How long? I mean, crap, I don’t have time to write something long right now. You can have five thousand words, I think. I’d really like it if you’d fit into five thousand words. Six at the outside. WIP: I want more. Peter: How much more? WIP: I want…ten thousand. Peter: Eight. WIP:

PeterMBall 16/07/2010

Works in Progress

“Unicorns? Unicorns? Tra-la-la?”

This phrase has been running through my head for two days now, often borrowing David Bowie’s voice and intonation from a bit in Labyrinth where he says something very similar. It just sits there, repeated over and over, refusing to go away. This doesn’t become dangerous until I start listening to Suffragette City and pondering what happens when I mash Unicorns and the Goblin King Jared and space stations named after David Bowie songs together. It may be congealing into a story. I thought I was done with unicorns. Alas, I am not that lucky. People are going to start thinking that me and unicorns have a thing (I swear to god we’re just good friends). Wait, ‘scuse me a sec, I have to go chase a chicken out of the kitchen. Peter disappears to chase a chicken away from the cat food. Chicken leaves kitchen with cries of Attica! Attica! The chickens really do get a raw deal, what

PeterMBall 15/07/2010

Journal

I call him Fritz for a reason

Today I wish to blog about oh-so-many things, but my brain is tired and poor Fritz the laptop isn’t handling the internets well at the moment, for he is updating Windows right now and the internet in the house-sitting house is capped at slow speeds, and poor Fritz is weak in the RAM and lumped with the worlds worst operating system to boot. Were I smart I’d go work with pen and paper for a while, but being in possession of a penlike object could prove fatal for The Cat* when he attempts to jump on me. And so I dance to David Bowie, and I update the blog, and I remind Fritz that I still love him for all his deficiencies because he has given me that most priceless of gifts: the ability to write on the couch, and in bed, and in other people’s houses where the computers are new and scary and save word files in odd

PeterMBall 14/07/2010

Conspicuous Acts of Cultural Consumption

Today’s Thought

If this were a sane and sensible world there would be someone out there pressuring Dirk Flinthart to re-release his suburban Brisbane noir novella, Brotherly Love. I mean, dude, how is this ever out of print? More importantly, why has it been out of print for over a decade? Why do I need to acquire it in op-shops and library seconds sales? I give away copies of this book semi-regularly, and it is loved with a fierce devotion by everyone who sees the words “yakuza”, “overweight computer hacker” and “army of goths” in the blurb. It’s the kind of book that causes readers to get a dangerous gleam in their eye as they contemplate the forthcoming awesomeness, and it does not dissapoint them when they read on. And alas, I’m at my final copy, which means I must now guard it like the precious and hiss at people who ask if they can read it. I must also tape it together,

PeterMBall 13/07/2010

Works in Progress

Unleash the Frowns

The tenth rejection of the year came in this morning. After doing some quick research and resending the story, I went in to update my submission tracker (hint number one for writers: always update your submission tracker. Yes, right now). Then I spent about an hour making this face at the computer: Afterwards I went and sang Creep at the top of my lungs in the shower. It helped, although I suspect the neighbours now regard my off-key crooning of the line “I wish I was special” over and over as evidence that I may, in fact, be exactly that*. Now, to be explicitly clear, the frowny-face of doom wasn’t actually directed at my rejection (me, I love my rejections; it means I’m doing my job ). No, the frown was directed at the visual evidence that I’ve been letting things slide on the writing front for over a year, and it really was time to start picking up my game

PeterMBall 12/07/2010

Author: PeterMBall

Furnace Room Lullabye

Apropo of Nothing

Two Scenes of Feline Idiocy

The Writing To-Do list for 2010

Travel and Taxes

Farewell Gen Con Oz 2010

I Write Like

Conversations with Works In Progress

“Unicorns? Unicorns? Tra-la-la?”

I call him Fritz for a reason

Today’s Thought

Unleash the Frowns

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