Archive for the 'Life & Survival' Category

Aug 29 2010

4 Days ’til Worldcon

Published by PeterMBall under Life & Survival

And man, doesn’t that feel like an ominous thing to type in the title of the post.

I’m in a vaguely half-asleep state this morning, largely because I started reading Seanan McGuire’s Rosemary and Rue just before going to bed last night and it’s one of those books where the temptation to read just one more chapter is terribly, terribly strong. 

Were I a less lazy blogger there would be a whole post here about yesterday’s adventure to Pulp Fiction, whereupon my plan to buy just one or two books quickly fell apart. Fortunately, I am a lazy blogger today. That’s what Sunday’s a for.

Today there is writing. And write-club. And bugging the inimitable Ben Francisco about co-writing a YA novel, ’cause there are some writerly shenanigans that work better when they’re shared with other people.

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Aug 26 2010

7 Days ’til Worldcon

Published by PeterMBall under Life & Survival

Man, I’ve been all over the place for the last week. Good stuff happened and bad stuff happened and my emotional state bounced around like one of those 20-cent rubber crazy balls you used buy from the machines out the front of the grocery store, but there was rarely a moment where stuff happened all on its own and demanded no real engagement on my part. Fortunately the last three or four days have trended towards the good rather than the bad, but I suspect any seven day period that starts with your parents ringing from the other side of the world and saying “we were almost killed in a car crash” is going to struggle to come out ahead on points.

Still, among the cool stuff:

- Doing edits and contracts for my short story, L’esprit de L’escalier, which will be coming up at Apex Magazine in the future. Astute readers may put two-and-two together and realise this was the source of much post-acceptance dancing two weeks back.

- Kicked off a whole new round of snoopy dancing, for it appears that I’ve sold a third story for the year. Once again I err on the side of vagueness until details firm up, but suffice to say that this one is rated pretty damn high on the awesomesauce scale.

- Had the yearly rejection count climb to a tantalising 19 rejections, which has spurred me to get back into the wordmines and get some new stories done.

- Picked up the inimitable Ben Francisco from the airport, whereupon there was nattering about writing and the eating of cassoulet and the planning of literary hi-jinx in the lead-up to the con.

In other news I’m still prodding my brain and saying “yo, you ready to acknowledge that there’s a book with our name on it coming out next week” and the brain continues to respond with a surly growl and a denial. I suspect I’m saving my “ZOMG…BOOK!” type squee until there’s a copy in my hands, whereupon nearby dogs will probably register my joy. I also have to figure out what I’m going to read in my reading slot at the con (logically it should be Bleed, but there’s always something a tad iffy about me reading Aster’s interior monologue); I was tempted to go with the aforementioned L’esprit de L’escalier, but then I realised I had no idea how to pronounce the title without mangling the French and thus it was shelved for another time.
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Current Writing Metrics

Consecutive Days Writing (500+ words): 1
New Short Stories Sent Into the Wild: 9/30
Rejections in 2010: 19/100
Black Candy Word Count (Finish Date: 31st August )

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Aug 20 2010

In which I am stupid

Published by PeterMBall under Life & Survival

If you’ve never read the Persistence Pays Parasites entry of Cory Doctrow’s Locus column then I heartily recommend dropping over and taking a look. The short-version, for those without the time or attention span, runs something like this: Doctrow is a smart and internet savvy guy, but he got himself phished despite his high awareness of such scams ’cause they hit him when there was a short-lived crack in his defenses. Actually, let me quote the key message of the column, ’cause it’s worth repeating:

Phishing isn’t (just) about finding a person who is technically naive. It’s about attacking the seemingly impregnable defenses of the technically sophisticated until you find a single, incredibly unlikely, short-lived crack in the wall.

‘Course, I still recommend going over and checking out the whole thing. It’s interesting stuff and it’ll make you rethink the way spam e-mail works (at least, if will if you’re like me and you assumed Spam merchanters were going after net-surfing grandma’s who really thought that nice gentlemen in Nigeria needed some help).

And now, let me tell you about my morning. I wasn’t phished, but I was a damn sight closer to it than I’m really comfortable with. You see, around 9 o’clock this morning I get this phone, and given a variety of factors I’m half-asleep when I stumble out of bed to answer the phone with this dreadful feeling that it’s going be my parents relating some new calamity that’s happened on their trip. Instead its someone with a really strong accent rattling through some script about banks and refunds and the Australian government and would I please confirm some details for them.

I don’t really understand most of it because it’s early and the accent is nigh impenetrable and after asking for things to be repeated three times I’ve given up and just gone with things to get the call over with. My something fishy antenna is up, but at the same time I haven’t understood about two-thirds of the people I talk to since outsourcing became popular. I confirm my name. I confirm my address. When they have me listed as P rather than Peter, I give them the name. When they have my street number, but not my apartment number, I fill that in too. I stare longingly at my coffee pot. I get them to explain the whole thing to me again, ’cause in my world people don’t just ring and say “hey, we need to give you money,” but I’m mostly just filling in time until I work out what’s going on.

“Would I like my refund sent through as a cheque or deposited into my bank account?” the voice on the end says. I have to get them to repeat this three times before I understand what they asking, and even half-asleep I’m not stupid enough to give anyone my bank account details over the phone. “Cheque is fine,” I tell them.

“Okay,” the voice says. “You’re in the system. Please call my manager on this phone number with this code, and she’ll talk you through the rest of the process.”

And so I call despite the fact that there’s a voice in the back of my head telling me it’s stupid, and the manager has a far less impenetrable accent so I get her to explain what’s going on, and lo-and-behold they outline a scheme that sounds remarkably similar to this. They explain what they’ve done. They tell me they’re preparing to send out over four thousand dollars. I feel very stupid and politely excuse myself from the rest of the conversation, then do my research to confirm that the entire conversation really was as stupid as I thought it was. I call my bank and say “this is what I’ve revealed – do I need to do anything” on the off chance that I did reveal something I shouldn’t have and they confirm that I’m probably being paranoid. I report the entire thing to the appropriate place, but a few hours later I’m still left feeling inexcusably dumb for going as far as I did.

I suspect there will be several paranoid checkings of my bank-account over the next week or so (even though, lets face it, anyone breaking into my bank account is bound to be dissapointed by what they find there).

Today I was a stupid, stupid man, but at least I wasn’t as stupid as I could have been.

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Aug 20 2010

13 Days ‘Til Worldcon

Published by PeterMBall under Life & Survival

Yesterday started out okay with the job interview. Then it kind of downgraded a bit. Then the following happened and it downgraded a lot.

On The Sudden Discover that Your Parents Live their Retirement in the Same Way Most People Live their Early Twenties
A Play in One Act

Peter is at home, working on a few things after going to an interview. His parents are overseas. They’ve been taunting him with postcards from Vienna, because Peter has this thing for Vienna after watching The Third Man and Before Sunrise too many times. Peter’s Parent’s are classy like that. They send him pictures of Viennese food. They’re not actually in Vienna anymore, because old-fashioned postal systems aren’t as instant as e-mail. They’re meant to be coming home soon. The phone rings a few times. Peter rolls off the couch and answers it.

Peter’s Dad calling from distant Turkey: Hello?
Peter: Hello?
Peter’s Dad calling from distant Turkey: Hello?
Peter: Yeah, hello?
Peter’s Dad calling from distant Turkey: Hello?
Peter: I think there’s a delay. Count to five before you answer.
Peter’s Dad calling from distant Turkey: Hello.
There is counting to five.
Peter: Hello. How’s things? Count to five before you answer.
Peter’s Dad calling from distant Turkey: Let me tell you upfront we’re both fine *now* and there’s nothing to worry about…
Peter blinks a few time, processing that. He doesn’t really count to five, but that doesn’t seem to matter.
Peter: Yeah, this is not going to end well.
And lo, Peter was correct, for his parents had travelled off to distant Turkey and suffered a great calamity that shouldn’t be spoken of in any great detail. Peter feels somewhat lucky that he still has parents at this point, especially since they repeat the phrase “we’re both fine” with the kind of repetition that suggests they might not have been. Peter listens to the whole story and counts to five.
Peter: So you’re both fine.
Peter’s Dad calling from distant Turkey: Mostly fine. There are bruises.
Peter counts to five. He frets about how many details he would have left out if he was telling this story. He dislikes the use of the word Mostly.
Peter: And you’re still flying home tomorrow?
Peter’s Dad calling from distant Turkey: Yes.
Peter: Good.
Peter counts to five. Peter’s Dad calling from distant Turkey counts to five.
Peter: You know, somehow I always thought this conversation would be the opposite way around.
Peter: Also, neither of you are leaving the country EVER AGAIN.
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Current Writing Metrics

Consecutive Days Writing (500+ words): 1
New Short Stories Sent Into the Wild: 9/30
Rejections in 2010: 18/100
Black Candy Word Count (Finish Date: 31st August)

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Aug 19 2010

14 Days ‘Til Worldcon

There are fourteen days between me and Worldcon, which means there’s fourteen days before people can get their hands on Bleed. Much as I’m all unsubtle about my desire for you all to give in to your base, capitalist urges and consume for the good of the economy (and, lets be frank, my rent-paying ability) there is still a tiny part of me that isn’t quite ready for people to see Bleed yet. And yet I stay calm. Almost zen-like. Mostly I’m doing this by pretending its not going to happen, so if you see me at worldcon and I’m all surprised that there’s a book out with my name on it, you’ll know why.

And now I must go clean the house prior to write-club, and wait for a phonecall from my sister so I can explain the latest not-a-calamity.

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Aug 18 2010

15 Days ’til Worldcon

Published by PeterMBall under Life & Survival

And so we have hit the slice of my calendar marked “The Cliffs of Insanity.”  For the next two weeks my days are packed – there are meetings to go to, there are house-cleanings prior to the arrival of guests, there are trips to the airport, and through a variety of circumstances there are now job interviews to attend.

I generally don’t talk about being unemployed online because a) it’s a downer and no-one needs to hear me whinging; and b) because the spam-bots come a-calling as soon as you say the word “unemployed” in an effort to convince you that you too can make thousands of dollars for a big company if you only you send them one…little…e-mail. Besides which, there’s only so many body-shots your ego can take, and when you’re skill-set largely covers “writing” and “reading” and “saying semi-intelligent things about a select sampling of the Gothic literary movement” your ego takes a battering in the current job market.

Tomorrow I’ve got an meeting for a job I rather want, though. ‘Tis a rare feeling to actually look forward to the interview.
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Current Writing Metrics

Consecutive Days Writing (500+ words): 9
New Short Stories Sent Into the Wild: 9/30
Rejections in 2010: 16/100
Black Candy Word Count (Finish Date: 31st August)
 <- Not accurate, but I’m in a hurry, so this will be updated later.

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Aug 15 2010

Fear my Sartorial Splendor!

Published by PeterMBall under Life & Survival

The dreaded paperbaghat is one of my many bad habits; I seriously end up wearing the damn things for a half-hour every time I leave one laying around the house, largely because it’s the only way I remember to throw them out. It’s one of those things that you can do when you live alone. Or that you end up doing when you live alone. I’m not sure which is the chicken and which is the egg in this situation.

In any case, most days I remember to take the dreaded paperbaghat off and depositing it in the bin *before* I answer the door.

Unlike, say, today when I forget I was wearing the dreaded paperbaghat and answered the door to chat with the nice missionary types who were trying to convince me that I should fear the forthcoming apocalypse or something.

-facepalm-

Stupid paperbaghat.

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Aug 11 2010

A Post in Four Parts

1) There’s is nothing quite so pleasant as heading out to one of your favorite bookstores on a rainy night and having someone read to you, but it’s doubly awesome when the topic du-jour is the Art of the Reading. The irony is that this totally wasn’t my idea – my sister e-mailed a few days back and asked if I’d be interested, and I was all “sick now, whatever, yeah? Put me down as a yes and leave me alone.” And so I was put down for a yes and Tuesday night rolled around and after I remembered I needed to be somewhere at somewhen there was much confused flailing and wondering what the hell I’d gotten into and then…then…then there was a pleasant night of awesomeness. And Nando’s chicken for afters, ’cause nothing says “pleasant night of literary discussion” like following things up with fast food.

2) I’m finally starting to find my routine again after nearly two weeks of being knocked about by allergies and the flu. The Spokesbear is pleased, although that may have more to do with the fact that my first resposne to bad news ceases to be curling up in ball and whimpering pitiously. The Spokebear has no pity.

3) Due to the pharmaceutical-induced cold-and-flu insomnia I happened to be up late enough to see episodes of Brad Garrett’s dire post-Everybody-Loves-Raymond sitcom, ‘Til Death. And it’s truly dire, not least of which because it’s falling back on the increasingly familiar trope of portraying married men as perpetual adolescents who need to be mothered by their wives. This shit makes me mad. Throwing stuff at the TV mad angry, actually. There is a rant brewing in the back of my brain about the need for male-oriented narratives that find a response to the rise of feminism beyond “act like children”, but ranting with lingering flu-brain is not the best idea.

4) Every time I use du jour in a blog post, I keep thinking about this scene from Josie in the Pussycats and giggling. If you haven’t seen the Josie and the Pussycat’s movie, you really should. It’s awesome. And Du Jour means crash positions!

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Aug 10 2010

My Hate, I show it too you…

 Peter wakes up to find the Spokesbear sitting on his chest, staring him in the face.

Spokesbear: Time to work.
Peter: Fuck off.
Spokesbear: You’re not sick anymore.
Peter: I feel like someone’s taken a razor blade to the inside of my oesophagus.
Spokesbear: Yes, but you can *stare at a screen without bleeding from the eyes*. That means it’s time to work.
Peter: You’re mean.
Spokesbear: It’s what you pay me for.
Peter: I pay you?
Spokesbear: Yes.
Peter: You’re an anthropomorphised fraction of my own subconscious guilt, why do you get paid?
The Spokesbear punches Peter in the throat with a padded paw.
Spokesbear: That’s why. Next time you ask a stupid question, I’m going after a kneecap.
Peter: I kill you.
The Spokesbear makes a cute face.
Peter: Okay, I don’t kill you.
Spokesbear: I don’t do this for free, dude. Time to work.
Peter: Sadist.
Spokesbear: Wuss.
Peter: Crazy bear.
Spokesbear: Slacker.
Peter: Tyrant.
Spokesbear: Slug.
Peter: How long are we going to do this?
Spokesbear: We’re done the moment you start writing.
Peter: I hate you.
Spokesbear: Fair enough. Consider it payback for all the times you made me listen to your rants about Avatar.

Current Writing Metrics
Consecutive Days Writing (500+ words): 0
New Short Stories Sent Into the Wild: 9/30
Rejections in 2010: 15/100
Black Candy Word Count (Finish Date: 31st August)

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Aug 06 2010

Somewhere between Bletch and Booyah

Published by PeterMBall under Life & Survival,Writing

So I followed my week of almost dying of cat allergies with a week of being mildly inconvenienced by a cold, which would have been fine were it not one of those strains of the common cold that makes your eyes blurry and sore every time you looked at a computer screen. Not being able to look at a computer screen is a fairly dire state of affairs in my world, especially when electronic proofs start appearing (one can type with one’s eyes closed, after all, but one cannot correct what one cannot read).

On the plus side, I was apparently shortlisted for some Ditmar awards while I was away, which is kind of cool. Plus there’s a seemingly endless parade of friends on the short-list as well, which is always a good thing.
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Current Writing Metrics
Consecutive Days Writing (500+ words): 2
New Short Stories Sent Into the Wild: 9/30
Rejections in 2010: 14/100
Black Candy Word Count (Finish Date: 31st August)

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